At my last job, whenever it was someone’s birthday, the boss would order a cake of their choosing. Well, depending on how fast a person was, it was actually a cake of the operations manager’s choosing. With the speed of a cheetah, I raced to put in an order for an Oreo Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. I did this for two reasons. First, this cheesecake is expensive and thus a very rare treat. Second, I knew cheesecake wasn’t popular around the office and I would end up taking home most of it.
True story, I decided on the last minute to go to a potluck, which meant trying to think up something quick and cheap to make, thus the original to these lovely pizza croissants. This whole thing probably cost me about $15 and 35 minutes or so.
No quirky pre-emblems today, people. I’m on vacation so I don’t have time for all that. Nevertheless, I still wanted to get this recipe out so lets get to it.
This post is about making juice, or a juice like subsistence for those of us who only have a blender. I’m going to be blunt with you, reader: juice can get ugly. I don’t know if this is the end result of me using a blender instead of an actual juicer or the by-product the lie that the juice industry has fed us, but homemade juice and juice-like substances can look like swamp water. Depending on the recipe used, I have been forced to scream out, “No, this is better than it looks!”
Well, I’m back. It’s been an interesting few weeks, which is why I haven’t updated this blog in quite some time. First, I had an emergency move. My roommate had a disagreement with her boss that led her hours being cut at work, so she was forced to move back home a few days later. Needless to say, I spent the first half of April looking for a new apartment. (You do not know what its like to search for a new apartment when you don’t have a car) Next came the mandatory packing and moving, which is an impressive feet while still going to school and working. Of course this lead directly into the finals season of law school followed by a mandatory ‘do nothing’ week. ‘Do nothing’ week is where I celebrate the fact that for an entire week, I don’t have to leave my bed. I take this hiatus in honor of the people who actually have work to do.
It’s a fact: you’re an adult. You know you’re an adult. Everyone knows you’re an adult, everyone accepts that you’re an adult. The only person who disputes this fact is your mother and that is because a room in your home is dirty. She’s just gotten in from an early morning, late night, whatever and what she was willing to ignore due to fatigue earlier, sleep has recharged her lecture batteries. At this point, you have two options. You could kick/usher her out as soon as she wakes up. I wouldn’t personally recommend this. First, when your mother is angry, everyone in the household knows it. (Why do that to your father?) Second, if your mother is anything like my mother, she’ll eventually get you back for that one. My mother’s wrath is like a poisonous spider hiding in your shoe, you literally step into it and it’s devastating. So that leaves you with one other choice: make her a breakfast that will shut her up.
This will take you forty minutes. Tops.
Years ago I came across an article in GQ Magazine talking about what a real man’s kitchen should look like. Essentially, the article listed important items every man should have in their kitchen and because it’s GQ, the goal was more about impressing the ladies than functionality. I am now utterly fascinated by this idea of a kitchen or a meal designed exclusively for chasing tail. Whenever I’m a guy friends, the first chance I get I’m investigating their fridge. That GQ article is the origin of this dinner, a meal thats simply in its construction and yet if I met a man who made this for me, I would be deeply impressed. In laments terms, a meal that can be used to impress the ladies.